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    How do you guys handle counter offers?

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    • pmonchoP
      pmoncho @scottalanmiller
      last edited by

      @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

      @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

      @JasGot said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

      @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

      The fact that he is out of the one man shop and onto something bigger is an additional factor as well.

      A HUGELY positive factor.

      oh yeah of course. I dont know how people get stuck in 1 man shops for so long

      Because it's often really comfortable and once you are in you tend to feel badly for the company because leaving seems impossible for them to handle. So you tend to stay.

      Seeing as how I am one of these people, I agree with both factors. There are a few other too.

      The main reason I have stayed so long is my previous boss treated much better than most others in 1 man shops. I have a sense of feeling "connected" to the entire IT system as I built most of it (basically for LOB app).

      On the flip side, many negatives you and others have pointed out over the years are definitely true also.

      scottalanmillerS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • scottalanmillerS
        scottalanmiller @Obsolesce
        last edited by

        @Obsolesce said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

        @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

        @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

        @JasGot said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

        @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

        The fact that he is out of the one man shop and onto something bigger is an additional factor as well.

        A HUGELY positive factor.

        oh yeah of course. I dont know how people get stuck in 1 man shops for so long

        Because it's often really comfortable and once you are in you tend to feel badly for the company because leaving seems impossible for them to handle. So you tend to stay.

        cough Stockholm Syndrom

        Wait, WHERE do you live?

        HAHAHAHA

        IRJI 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • IRJI
          IRJ @scottalanmiller
          last edited by

          @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

          @Obsolesce said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

          @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

          @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

          @JasGot said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

          @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

          The fact that he is out of the one man shop and onto something bigger is an additional factor as well.

          A HUGELY positive factor.

          oh yeah of course. I dont know how people get stuck in 1 man shops for so long

          Because it's often really comfortable and once you are in you tend to feel badly for the company because leaving seems impossible for them to handle. So you tend to stay.

          cough Stockholm Syndrom

          Wait, WHERE do you live?

          HAHAHAHA

          Did anyone ever stay in touch with @guyinpv ? I really did want to go rescue him

          ObsolesceO scottalanmillerS 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • ObsolesceO
            Obsolesce @IRJ
            last edited by

            @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

            @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

            @Obsolesce said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

            @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

            @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

            @JasGot said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

            @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

            The fact that he is out of the one man shop and onto something bigger is an additional factor as well.

            A HUGELY positive factor.

            oh yeah of course. I dont know how people get stuck in 1 man shops for so long

            Because it's often really comfortable and once you are in you tend to feel badly for the company because leaving seems impossible for them to handle. So you tend to stay.

            cough Stockholm Syndrom

            Wait, WHERE do you live?

            HAHAHAHA

            Did anyone ever stay in touch with @guyinpv ? I really did want to go rescue him

            They might have him trapped in a cage like in You.

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • scottalanmillerS
              scottalanmiller @pmoncho
              last edited by

              @pmoncho said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

              The main reason I have stayed so long is my previous boss treated much better than most others in 1 man shops. I have a sense of feeling "connected" to the entire IT system as I built most of it (basically for LOB app).

              Oh there are definitely upsides, too. Like getting to be fully in charge, getting to do things your way, getting to play with every aspect of the technology, not needing to deal with the network effect, having all documentation cached in your head, knowing every detail of every configuration, all of the history, the why and hows. It can be nice. It has advantages. But the "all alone, and no one but you to support things" generally outweighs any benefits in the long term.

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • scottalanmillerS
                scottalanmiller @IRJ
                last edited by

                @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                @Obsolesce said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                @JasGot said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                The fact that he is out of the one man shop and onto something bigger is an additional factor as well.

                A HUGELY positive factor.

                oh yeah of course. I dont know how people get stuck in 1 man shops for so long

                Because it's often really comfortable and once you are in you tend to feel badly for the company because leaving seems impossible for them to handle. So you tend to stay.

                cough Stockholm Syndrom

                Wait, WHERE do you live?

                HAHAHAHA

                Did anyone ever stay in touch with @guyinpv ? I really did want to go rescue him

                I feel like he reported that he eventually broke free. But it took a while.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • scottalanmillerS
                  scottalanmiller
                  last edited by

                  https://mangolassi.it/topic/18809/finally-leaving-my-job-and-it-s-just-as-annoying-as-i-thought-it-would-be

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • DustinB3403D
                    DustinB3403 @scottalanmiller
                    last edited by

                    @scottalanmiller said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                    @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                    @JasGot said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                    @IRJ said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                    The fact that he is out of the one man shop and onto something bigger is an additional factor as well.

                    A HUGELY positive factor.

                    oh yeah of course. I dont know how people get stuck in 1 man shops for so long

                    Because it's often really comfortable and once you are in you tend to feel badly for the company because leaving seems impossible for them to handle. So you tend to stay.

                    I dealt with being a 1 man band for 3 years, never again. I'd rather cut off an appendage.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • C
                      Carnival Boy @magicmarker
                      last edited by

                      @magicmarker said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                      @JasGot Thank you for your insight.

                      My current employer left me as the sole IT department for 250 employees for over 10 years. I was doing help desk and project management. This was only ONE of the many factors I was looking for change. I believe the company never put a contingency plan in place if I were to leave, or get hit by a bus for that matter. When I put in my notice, they realized they had no job description for my title. I was asked to write a job description for them to use for recruitment. I was pretty shocked by that.

                      The company is simply trying to solve a problem now by countering and getting me to stay. They put themselves in a bind. HR mentioned that employees will want to leave if take another job. That is somewhat flattering, but what in the world does that say about the company then?

                      I think that's more common than you think.

                      I was a one man band for a few years and loved it. There's pros and cons with any job but I'm surprised by the negativity on here. My experience was generally positive.

                      I also don't agree with the negativity around counter offers. They can work out. You've ended up in a position where you are massively important to your employer and they have been forced to recognise that and they've responded in a positive way.

                      I don't buy the poisoned well argument. Not least because of the concept of confirmation bias. They would look back at the situation in a positive way rather than negative - "our employee is awesome and we expertly negotiated him to stay and averted a crisis". You might think they would then put in contingencies to dilute your importance (and maybe even fire you later) but companies are generally content to just kick the can down the road and carry on as if nothing happened. They might treat you with greater respect.

                      Ultimately you know what you want and you know your employer so none of us can say, I just think that staying "could" be good for you.

                      magicmarkerM JaredBuschJ scottalanmillerS 5 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • magicmarkerM
                        magicmarker @Carnival Boy
                        last edited by

                        @Carnival-Boy Finally a different point of view. Thank you.

                        After going through this experience I think the best advice I can give is to talk with your boss about your pain points. Ask your company to hire help if you are struggling to keep up. Ask for a raise prior to looking for a new job. Maybe your company can accommodate your requests to help you feel more satisfied in your employment. It’s important to try to see if your current working conditions can be improved before making such big life changes.

                        I have been in my current position as an IT Manager for the past 12 years. In the IT industry, 12 years in the same position can sometimes hurt your career. While this shows loyalty and reliability to your company, it can also indicate that you have not learned anything new and have become stagnant in the status quo. The environment gets stale and you have less challenges. It's easy to get the itch for change.

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • F
                          flaxking
                          last edited by

                          I definitely miss my 1-man show job. I entered as a junior tech, and left as a intermediate tech. Then I came back and left again as senior tech (though I didn't realize it yet). I'd go back again if I could.

                          Now I work on a 6 person team and do way more overtime hours. At the 1-man IT job, when I complained about after hours 'emergencies' I was able to get a new design approved that made them not emergencies any more.

                          A big plus to the 1-man show was having the time to really dive into things and learn them thoroughly.

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • JaredBuschJ
                            JaredBusch @Carnival Boy
                            last edited by

                            @Carnival-Boy said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                            I also don't agree with the negativity around counter offers. They can work out.

                            It can never work out unless the company is really that stupid.

                            C scottalanmillerS 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • JaredBuschJ
                              JaredBusch @Carnival Boy
                              last edited by

                              @Carnival-Boy said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                              You've ended up in a position where you are massively important to your employer and they have been forced to recognise that and they've responded in a positive way.

                              This is certainly not positive in any way. They have simply been forced to pay you more until they can replace you on their terms (i.e. no unemployment). You are in not in a position of massive importance to the employer. That is only in your head.

                              F scottalanmillerS 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 4
                              • F
                                flaxking @JaredBusch
                                last edited by

                                @JaredBusch said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                You are in not in a position of massive importance to the employer. That is only in your head.

                                ^^^ This for sure. Will things not run as smoothly? Likely. Will shit hit the fan? Possibly. But businesses of this size tend to be pretty resilient. And while your way might have been better, typically someone can step in and get them going when something happens, even if it means just swapping out a most of the previous setup.

                                ObsolesceO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • ObsolesceO
                                  Obsolesce @flaxking
                                  last edited by

                                  @flaxking said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                  @JaredBusch said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                  You are in not in a position of massive importance to the employer. That is only in your head.

                                  ^^^ This for sure. Will things not run as smoothly? Likely. Will shit hit the fan? Possibly. But businesses of this size tend to be pretty resilient. And while your way might have been better, typically someone can step in and get them going when something happens, even if it means just swapping out a most of the previous setup.

                                  Yeah, they can always bring in an MSP for less than the cost of that sole "IT Manager" I'm sure.

                                  scottalanmillerS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • C
                                    Carnival Boy @JaredBusch
                                    last edited by

                                    @JaredBusch said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                    @Carnival-Boy said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                    I also don't agree with the negativity around counter offers. They can work out.

                                    It can never work out unless the company is really that stupid.

                                    Feels like anyone who doesn't conform to your world view must, therefore, be "stupid".

                                    IRJI scottalanmillerS 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • IRJI
                                      IRJ @Carnival Boy
                                      last edited by

                                      @Carnival-Boy said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                      @JaredBusch said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                      @Carnival-Boy said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                      I also don't agree with the negativity around counter offers. They can work out.

                                      It can never work out unless the company is really that stupid.

                                      Feels like anyone who doesn't conform to your world view must, therefore, be "stupid".

                                      Nearly everyone recommends not taking counteroffers, it's not @JaredBusch view such specifically.

                                      https://lmddgtfy.net/?q=Should I accept a counter offer

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • C
                                        Carnival Boy
                                        last edited by

                                        I'm not recommending anyone takes a counter offer. I'm saying that there are occasions when it can work out. Calling people stupid when you don't know the circumstances is OTT.

                                        scottalanmillerS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • scottalanmillerS
                                          scottalanmiller @Carnival Boy
                                          last edited by

                                          @Carnival-Boy said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                          I also don't agree with the negativity around counter offers. They can work out. You've ended up in a position where you are massively important to your employer and they have been forced to recognise that and they've responded in a positive way.

                                          I would disagree with "in a positive way". Counter offers are a negative way. Being "forced" to recognize it under extortion is a "negative way". Having an employee willing to interview elsewhere but then go back to the "scorned lover" is a negative way. It makes all things negative. Can it work out? I don't believe so, if it appears to have worked out, it highlights how badly the situation was already going and the bar for what is positive and negative is skewed. It means it's a disrespectful relationship on both sides when it appears to have worked out.

                                          Counter offers mean pay through extortion. You can't argue that people like being extorted. And people don't like having to extort. When it works out, it just means the situation has to be so bad that the extortion isn't the bad part.

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • scottalanmillerS
                                            scottalanmiller @Carnival Boy
                                            last edited by

                                            @Carnival-Boy said in How do you guys handle counter offers?:

                                            I don't buy the poisoned well argument. Not least because of the concept of confirmation bias. They would look back at the situation in a positive way rather than negative - "our employee is awesome and we expertly negotiated him to stay and averted a crisis".

                                            Basically I read this as "crappy people working with crappy people are okay with how crappy things are." Everything about the situation is bad. Having to convince someone else to give you an offer so you can threaten your current employer to get raises you feel you should already have gotten as a process... if that makes someone happy looking back, I feel that that makes our point.

                                            You might think they would then put in contingencies to dilute your importance (and maybe even fire you later) but companies are generally content to just kick the can down the road and carry on as if nothing happened. They might treat you with greater respect.

                                            Right.. bad companies act badly. But bad companies also make bad situations. Everything is "bad" in the scenario you describe. The people, the situation, the company. There's nothing good other than "you got more money in the short term", but that was already the assumption with the other offer so isn't a "good" per se.

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